Never committed

I realized this morning, that I have never been fully committed to myself. Everything has always been... tomorrow or soon or someday. Let's see if we can change that!

K

I am almost done being fat....

I have been ridiculous! I have been weak! I am ashamed of myself! I need help! I did not just FALL off of the wagon... I tied a rocket to my back and exploded from the railing. Then, the rocket sputtered, failed and I crashed into a mashed potato mountain and lived there in my butter chalet for 5 months! I am on my way home! Promise!

Oh, the Guilt!

You know, it really is hard to get back into the groove... I have been doing alright and have been fairly consistent. However, would like to be further along than I am. A lot of that has to do with me not being honest with myself. I keep saying that eating "just one handful of this or that" won't have the detrimental effects on me that it seems to. I keep telling myself that I don't need to cut everything out of my life in order to be happy and healthy. And truthfully, I do believe that! But it is becoming glaringly clear that my little "cheat" days (or should I say, "cheat" minutes in every day) are getting the better of me. I suppose it could be looked at as a positive...my body is rebelling against my lust for sugar, salt and starch! Tonight, I feel bloated, lethargic and guilty!

Tomorrow, a new beginning....again!

Sleep well,
Kristi

Measurements

Last weekend prior to my workout - Kim and I re-measured me. Get this...I have lost a total of 9.5 inches!!! 9.5 inches - incredible!!!!

I'm Baaack - In More Ways Than One! :D

Well, my next post was obviously not Wednesday evening... So, more than 2 months later - the surgery went very well. I was out of the hospital the next day and had very little discomfort! I am done writing about aneurysms, surgeries and Chiari for now and for as long as possible!

During the months of November and December - I gained so much weight and soared up to 187.9 lbs! I thought I was heading down a road with no possibility of turning around. However, as soon as I got the clearance, I began working out with Kim (Positively Fit) faithfully and am already down to 164.3 - that is a loss of 23.6 lbs in approximately a month and a half! I am literally working my butt off and am enjoying every minute of it! The headaches and other symptoms are few and far between and we are still cautious, but all is going very well!

I will be taking a progress photo in approximately 10 more lbs. And although I have yet to post my original measurements when I started seeing Kim, I will -- along with new ones!

Kristi

This is it...

Well, tomorrow I leave for Cleveland. Pre-op stuff ... and then I am just going to stay there at a hotel on campus. My mom and my baby girl (actually she is 10) are coming with me.

Funny thing - I was going to go with my sister-in-law on Saturday to get a tattoo of a shamrock on my ankle. Thought it would bring me a little luck (power of 3) and provide a little Irish protection. Then, I started thinking that it might not be a good thing to get punctured with ink and tiny needles over and over again prior to giving blood, and going into surgery. So, I drew it myself! It's a little bigger than I anticipated, but I think it will do the trick. We will have to see if they wipe it all off prior to surgery (I do not know the rules as they apply to Sharpie ink). No biggie if they do, I suppose. I had fun doing it. Maybe I have found my new calling - Tattoo Artist - what do you think! ha ha.

I am hoping my next post will be Wednesday evening. See you then - friendly followers!!!!!

Kristi

Here's Something ....

Don't know if I have mentioned... I was told that I have a brain aneurysm. Had to stop any and all strenuous activity - so I did. I feel like a blob! Probably because in conjunction with me stopping any and all strenuous activity I have found solice in my comfort food! ALL of it! From potatoes and pasta to pie and chocolate! ALL of it! I do feel ashamed and I am now in the process of reeling it all in! I am due to have an endovascular embolization coiling procedure to treat the aneurysm. And, on top of that, I received a call from my Chiari Neurologist and they have informed me that upon my recovery from the "eecp" (as I am now calling it) I have to have the decompression surgery to alleviate the pressure in my brain that they now believe to be the cause of all of my irritating, frustrating and painful symptoms that I have been complaining about for months and months and months! (Sorry by the way :)) So, there you have it.....2 surgeries and HOPEFULLY an end to all of this craziness! I am extremely tense about this, but excited to reach a conclusion!