All-Time High, All-Time Low

Not much to say at this point... another record in the wrong direction! A few weeks ago, I clocked in at 215 pounds. Just stepped on scale this morning, and see the numbers 2-0-6. I credit the 9 pound difference to packing up my house for a yard sale and my big move west. You see, I am finally moving to California (after years of waiting for our daughter to graduate high school), and I am getting married on June 30th. You would think that would be an awesome incentive to regain control on my physical wellness and weight. You would think... but you would be wrong. 

Honestly, I am in so much pain all of the time. I don't let people know the actual extent. I have a very high tolerance and am convinced that if any of my friends or family had to live in my body for less than a day, they would succumb and understand my plight. The issue here, is that none of that matters. I power through every day, but not enough to bring this weight down and beat this damn fat! My feet and ankles are getting tired of caring me. I feel it. The regular pain is more severe. I have developed a limp and even when I tell myself to stop - I can't. 

I cry. I cry a lot. I am scared that I won't be able to turn this around. I am past mid-forty now, and it's getting harder to do things. Normal things. Where do I go? What do I do?

I'll figure it out at some point. Need to dig for some positive stuff. I am sure I will find some soon. Just needed to vent, and this blog (although not consistent) is my best outlet.

Peace.