Well - I have surpassed another milestone. 14 stones, to be exact. I am a whopping 196 pounds and weigh a full stone more (that's 14 pounds) than Ricky Gervais!!! Although I would love to be compared to this wonderful animal activist, human rights activist, and comedian in many respects, I absolutely do NOT care for a likeness in weight!Although I have weighed more in the past - my body feels worse under these particular stones!
I have been battling with myself again. I know this is nothing new. However, 2015 and 2016 were a terrible health years for me. I wish I would have blogged through it, but... hindsight... I was diagnosed with pretty significant high blood pressure and have been on medication since, had to have emergency gall bladder surgery, abnormal thyroid requiring MORE medication, a full hysterectomy, and put on Estrogen.
Not only did I have health issues, I am in a constant tug-of-war keeping my 17 year old daughter's anxiety/panic disorder in check. Which is not an easy task, and takes all of the energy I do have. I do not sleep, believe I may be battling some actual clinical depression, and I am just hanging on.
I get input and "advice" from some in my life. The problem lies in that I already KNOW the things they offer up. Understanding and living it are two totally different concepts. I honestly feel alone. My partner is across the country. And it kills me that we are not a cohesive family, under one roof. I fear this will never be a realized reality. Emily will be on to other things and then college bound by the time we are "together". And this hurts.
But I digress... Botton line, I am unhealthy. I am sad.
